The March Madness Widow Surivival Guide

Hello ladies.

This blog is for you. I know that I don’t often write about things that are focused on the female gender. But I feel that this is an important and time sensitive subject.

There may be a few of you who know what to do in the situation that I’m going to bring up here. But for those of you that don’t, I hope to help.

The situation that I’m talking about is March Madness Widow syndrome.

It’s a phenomenon that comes up every year. And every year there are millions of girlfriends, fiancés and wives who are disheartened and disappointed by their men from mid-March to early April. This year will be exactly the same, unless you are able to look at that positive possibilities that this tournament brings to you. That’s why I’m here. I want to help. It’s what I do. I’m a helper. So, let me help you through this time. And by the time the tournament is over and he’s bothering you to pay attention to him again, you’ll be wishing for the NHL play-offs.

My girlfriend is one of the afore mentioned Widows. She knows it and I know it. And I love her very much, but I also love the tournament. And so today, I do not plan on telling you how to stop your significant other from watching and loving March Madness. What I do plan to do is help you come up with ways to deal with your situation between now and the national final on April 5th.

The first idea is one that my girlfriend came up with herself. Take a trip. It’s the perfect time of year to take a couple of days and go and see some friends out of town. That way you won’t be upset when you realize that your dude is watching basketball from noon until he can’t stay awake any longer. You won’t feel the neglect that comes from his mental distance. And you get to have some time with people that you love and miss. Everyone wins.

The second idea is one that could work well too. Catch up on some reading. If reading is something that you love to do and just don’t seem to have the time to do it this is the perfect time. He won’t be calling for you or bugging you to cuddle or talk or even acknowledge that he exists. And you can melt away into a fantastic place where NCAA basketball doesn’t even exist.

Next comes a great idea that you can even talk him into helping with. Laundry! If it seems like it has piled up and you just can’t get ahead of the washing and the folding and the putting away, make him help. Recruit him to fold the laundry while he watches his bracket go down the drain. And when the games are done and the fans have left the stadiums, he can put everything away before you let him into bed. Win.

Here’s one that might seem a little bit out there, but I think it might be worth looking into. Learn a second language. I know, sounds crazy right? But think about it this way. Just last week I was reading in the newspaper that Matthew McConaughey believes that his fiancé speaking Spanish has helped their relationship. He says that when she gets upset with him or frustrated she has the ability to cuss him out in Spanish, which he speaks a little of, but not enough to fully understand her every word. This ability keeps him from getting his back up about the things that she says about him because he doesn’t know what they are. Wouldn’t you like to be able to mumble to yourself in Spanish or Italian or German when your lazy man forgets to take out the garbage? After the tournament is over of course.

This next one might be crazy too, but I like it a lot. Watch some basketball with him. Most guys will enjoy the heck out of it. Fill out a bracket and cheer against him. Pick teams based on their nicknames or uniforms or alumni. Cheer for Kentuky because Ashley Judd has season tickets. Secretly that’s why your guy cheers for them too. That and John Wall. Either way, why not have some fun with it. Bet against him and hope that he loses. See what chores or favours you can get him to do. Just remember, when his favourite team loses he will take it personally, so try to not rub it in too hard.

You can also cash in on his attachment to the TV by bartering with him. Tell him that you’ll trade prime time right now for dinner and a movie after the tournament. And you pick the movie. Make him watch The Bounty Hunter with you. Make him take you shopping on a Saturday afternoon when he would rather clean the garage than be at the mall. Get to work writing that Honey Do list and trade each game that he wants to watch for something on the list. Be fair though, some things on your list might be worth 2 games. I know that getting him to treat you nicely shouldn’t require blackmail, but getting him to treat you extra nicely and having him feel like you are letting him enjoy his favourite time of year all at the same time sounds like a win, win situation to me.

So there you have it ladies. 6 ideas to help you cope with being a March Madness Widow. You can’t stop the tournament from happening this year or next year or the year after that, but you can control how you let it change your life. Why not take the opportunity to get something out of it. I would.

Good luck.

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Joshua Murray

creator of content, daddy blogger, writer, coffee drinker, fan of the Batman. proud mo bro. prouder dad.