I know that a lot of folks have been out to shows, pushed up against friends and strangers, masked and unmasked, vaxxed and unvaxxed, and listening to loud live music from the stage.

But not me.

And I miss it. But holy cow have I had trouble getting myself ready to go back.

I’m double dosed with Pfizer. I’m a mask-wearing dude when I’m around other people (double jabbed family excluded), especially indoors. And still, I haven’t felt the need to go to a field or an amphitheatre, or an indoor venue yet. I’ve wanted to. I’ve been jealous of those who have enjoyed the music. But I haven’t wanted it enough for myself.

Because I know that I can still get COVID-19 while vaccinated, I’m hesitant. Because my partner is a hairdresser that works closely with her clients, and we don’t know if they are vaccinated. Because my 3.5-year-old son isn’t vaccinated and neither are his young cousins. Because of those becauses, I haven’t wanted to risk contracting the virus and passing it along.

Yes, the vaccine can reduce the viral load, protecting me from serious symptoms of this deadly virus. And yes, it can also help lower the risk of me spreading it to others but Jess and Ollie are my everything – and Jess’s clients and their families are valued and loved and deserve to feel safe too.

So here I am, with dates circled on my November calendar for shows in the city I moved to this summer. And I want to go. I want to cover live music again. I want to hear a crowd singing along. I want to feel the energy for Crown Lands and sing and dance to Jess Moskaluke, Tyler Joe Miller, Don Amero and the rest of the MDM roster.

I want to write those stories and take those photos and share it all with all of you.

Masked. As safe as I can be. As safe as they can be.

I’ll have my proof of vaccination ready at the door. Masks at the ready for my face. Earplugs too (be safe at shows kids, trust me). And I can stand where I feel comfortable. Give fist bumps to folks I recognize in the audience (hugs are coming as soon as I really feel comfortable and I can’t wait). And I can go from there.

This isn’t the new normal. We are still fighting this pandemic. And as long as we’re fighting, I’ll be out here a little bit worried for me and the ones I love (and the ones you love too) and a little bit ready to go ahead and do the things that feel as safe as possible when I can do my part.

Here’s hoping that I see some of you very soon. Maybe in Oshawa in mid-November.

Stay safe and healthy.

– Josh

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Joshua Murray

creator of content, daddy blogger, writer, coffee drinker, fan of the Batman. proud mo bro. prouder dad.

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Trish Cassling

Writer/Photographer/Editor

Toronto Music Blogger