It’s been about 4 and a half months since I had my last cigarette on January 28th. And while it is easier each day not to want one and find one and have one, I still get cravings and urges from time to time. I’ve mentioned on Twitter that I get cravings when I see good looking people smoking. It’s true. It’s not every time. But there are times when I want to be one of the beautiful people and it seems that I’m skipping a vital step and should just jump back in. Then I remember that I know a lot of really good looking people who don’t smoke and I go about my day.

Other cravings include:

Waiting for Transit: I get bored when I have to sit and wait and do nothing on the side of the road. It’s sucky. And it used to be that I could just light a cigarette and pass the time. It also became partly habit to have one if a bus/streetcar wasn’t right there when I got to the stop. There’s also some superstition that comes into play. You see, when you’re waiting for a bus and it doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to come, you can light a cigarette and be sure that 9 times out of 10 the bus will arrive before you’re done smoking.

Being Outside in Gorgeous Weather: Cigarettes were always great for relaxing. And when I’m outside in gorgeous weather I want to be relaxed. So I would often have a cigarette and sit back and enjoy the day.

Fast On-Set Stress: There are some moments in life that just make me feel sick. I start sweating instantly, want to crawl into a hole and hide, etc. They can come from work, family and my personal life. And it used to be that a cigarette would give me a few minutes to grab a chemical reaction and mellow out in the brain for a minute. Problem solved? No. Time taken to process things and start figuring them out? Yes.

Walking out of a Blue Jays Game: Being in the ballpark for 3 hours during a baseball game used to be the longest I would go without a cigarette all day long. And I wasn’t alone. When you walk out of any sports stadium you will instantly smell cigarette smoke in abundance. People are lighting up all over the place and it still makes me crave a smoke to be among them.

Note: A cigarette by any other name would still smell as sweet. I know that this isn’t a widely shared opinion, but I kinda like the smell of a cigarette in the open air. I’m not talking about a smokey room, I’m talking about 1 person smoking 1 cigarette. It’s kinda nice.

Am I happy to be a non-smoker? Yes.

Has it been easy? Some days.

Has it been hard? Some days.

Is it worth fighting through the cravings? Heck Yes.

Do I want to go back to being a smoker? Heck No.

Thanks to BreakItOff.ca and their iPhone app I can tell you that it’s been 135 days since my last cigarette. I can also tell you that I have not smoked approximately 1762 cigarettes and saved approximately $705. That’s a lot of smoking and a lot of money.

Thanks again to everyone who has supported me, said nice things, tweeted encouragement, liked a Facebook status, etc.

You’re all awesome and have been a big help.

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Joshua Murray

creator of content, daddy blogger, writer, coffee drinker, fan of the Batman. proud mo bro. prouder dad.