This isn’t a Rob Ford defense piece. It also isn’t a Rob Ford persecution piece.

This is my wondering how all of this came to be for Ford and the city of Toronto.

All of the thoughts from here on out are my opinion.

I am not a Rob Ford supporter. I did not vote for him. I have never vouched for him. I have often shaken my head in disbelief because of his actions and decisions. But when you peel back all of the troubles that have plagued Ford’s tenure as mayor of Toronto, this is what I see…

Rob Ford is a man who genuinely believes that he can make a positive difference in the lives of people in his neighbourhood and city. It’s 1 of the 2 reasons I believe he got into politics. He is also a man who was not built to endure the spotlight and attention and stress that comes with the job of being mayor of Canada’s largest city.

Ford comes from privilege and entitlement. His family has money. He has older brothers who came before him in school and social circles. I would opine that he was rarely told no in his life, unless it was from his older brothers (Councillor Doug Ford included) who were telling him what to do. We have all seen examples of this in our lives, in the stories of professional athletes or of socialites who come from family money.

In the worst cases these people fear nothing. They feel untouchable because someone powerful always has their back. They act on impulse. They feel justified in those actions because nobody close to them ever tells them that they are wrong, because if they did, they would be cast out of the circle.

I see Rob Ford as one of these people. Not looking for the public spotlight necessarily, but looking to make a name for himself as the youngest child in a successful family. And surrounded by yes-men who know that being Rob Ford’s friend is much better than being Rob Ford’s enemy.

People much smarter and more qualified than I am have researched and talked about the youngest child trying harder to live up the name of their parents and older siblings and living in their shadow and trying to get out of it. It could very well be that Rob Ford falls directly into this category.

At 31 years old (my age now) Rob Ford became an elected member of Toronto City Council. It was his chance to be a valued and important member of his neighbourhood and city. It was an opportunity for people to look at Rob Ford and see an important member of the Ford family. After 10 years as a councillor, Mr. Ford made the decision to run for mayor of Toronto and won a general election. As I mentioned before, in my heart I believe that Rob Ford got into politics because he thought he could make a difference and also because he wanted to carry on the legacy of his father as a politician. Being mayor of Toronto gave him that opportunity.

But that’s when things got messy.

As Rob Ford’s political career gained steam and moved forward, his personal life and decisions never changed. As we are to understand, based on various stories and reports, Ford continued to act as a man unafraid of consequence. In his mind the end always justifies the means. And in his mind he is always doing the right thing for the people and the city of Toronto. He also seems to believe that what he does when he’s not at City Hall has nothing to do with what he does at City Hall. The problem is that the spotlight has only become bigger and brighter in that time. His supporters are fond of saying that his personal life should be viewed separately from his professional life. But it’s not that simple. As a public figure, elected by the citizens of Toronto, his every move is subject to being made public. And as a scrutinized and polarizing public figure, everything he does outside of City Hall is immediately tied to what he does in City Hall.

If Rob Ford were simply a man working for his family business, we probably wouldn’t be talking about him. If he had never been elected as a councillor or mayor, he wouldn’t be on the front page every day. Even if he made really, really, poor decisions in his personal life. Even if he did party too hard. Even if he was captured on video smoking what appears to be crack cocaine.

But he is. So we do.

It appears now that Rob Ford is caught in a web of denial. He has made himself believe (likely with the support of his family and yes-men) that he has done nothing wrong. That he is still fit to be mayor of Toronto. That he can still run the city of Toronto effectively and efficiently. And as it is with anyone living in denial, convincing Rob Ford otherwise is proving difficult.

I don’t know a lot about addiction. So I don’t know if Rob Ford has a drinking problem in the sense that he is an alcoholic. I don’t know if Rob Ford has an habitual drug problem. But what it seems is that Rob Ford has a problem dealing with the spotlight and scrutiny and pressure in his life and turns to substances to remove himself from those situations. I do know that that isn’t a healthy or positive choice. I do believe that Rob Ford needs help to stop himself from making that choice on an ongoing basis.

People do have the ability to rebound from the mistakes that they have made. I fully believe that Rob Ford can do that. A few years ago I wrote a piece about baseball player Miguel Cabrera after he had found himself in a cycle of drinking and domestic issues. It was clear that he needed help to get clean and back on track before this young, rich, powerful individual threw his life away. He got that help and has done well for himself since then.

I hope that Rob Ford does the same. I really do. He has a wife, 2 children, friends and other family that surely love him and want him to be healthy and happy. I want for that too. As a person, I want Rob Ford to get help.

I can’t make him do that. Right now it seems that nobody can. But I really hope that someone finds a way.

Good luck Mr. Ford. While I may not agree with your politics, I do believe that you deserve a chance to clean up your life.

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Joshua Murray

creator of content, daddy blogger, writer, coffee drinker, fan of the Batman. proud mo bro. prouder dad.